Have you ever felt as though there was something eating you up, and you just don't know how to stop it. It feels as though it has complete control over your life. It dictates when you must feed and nourish it with exquisite nutrients. It controls your senses in such ways that even you can do nothing but to succumb to its will. You make resolutions now and commit it to God, you map and make plans and it wonders you how frail the human body is.
I actually feel like an enormous enemy of myself. This gigantic dark energy hovering around me seems to be in charge. I get nothing right anymore, everything around me seems to be vague. Should I just give in? Why the need to fight it? Comparing how low willed I am just makes me a baby in his sight. A baby yearning to gain possession when he hardly knows what he wants.
I no longer see as fun what I would anxiously wait on before; even if it's the little crumbs I get of it.
Friends are dwindling, day by day I become tattered and unhappy.
I wake up to this desires, sleep on them still I feel empty. Emptier every morn, hoodwinked into believing nothing more for me as sleep catches my eyes. Happiness has flown far above where I can touch. I find no joy in doing this things, yet I see my self on them; wanting more of what kills me softly.
As a mindless robot, so have I become; succumbing to my every desires.
The choir on Sunday sang "it's well with my soul", how sure are they? I think mine is sick.
The flesh the Preacher Man says is "enemy of the soul, and both seeks my attention", I recall He still said "less compared to the prowress of the soul".
As it stands now, I will say the body is winning on every count. The soul is all quiet, saying nothing I can hear and wanting nothing I know of.
Me doing, and giving all the pleasures to the body has by no chance weaken the Soul abi?
